QUOTAHOLICS

HUMANS ARE PROBABLY CLOSER TO THE TRUTH IN THEIR SUPERSTITIONS THAN IN THEIR SCIENCE.

YOU ARE THE WATER THAT HOLDS THE SHAPE OF HIS CUP.

I WOULD PREFER IT IF YOU DID NOT TALK.

DJUNGELGURKOR.

CHEWING GLASS, SPITTING SHARDS.

YOU'D BE SURPRISED HOW SLOW I CAN BE AT TIMES.

EACH CAT HIS OWN RAT.

YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT, NO OFFENCE.

A DOOR IS EITHER OPEN OR SHUT.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS IS KILLING THE RENAISSANCE.

NEVER FIGHT IN A PATTERN.

OUT OF THE BLACK CAVE OF TIME.

TO CURE THE SOUL BY MEANS OF THE SENSES AND THE SENSES BY MEANS OF THE SOUL.

THE ONLY WAY TO HAVE A FRIEND IS TO BE ONE.

YOU'RE A JOURNALIST? WHO GIVES A SHIT? WE'RE FUCKING SOLDIERS.

FRIENDS MAKE THE WORST ENEMIES.

THE BEST THING ABOUT BONN IS THE TRAIN TO MUNICH.

THE BEST THINGS CAN'T BE TOLD. THE 2ND BEST ARE MISUNDERSTOOD.

ANATOMY IS DESTINY.

MEASURE TWICE, CUT ONCE.

NAME REPETITION, PERSONALITY MIRRORING, AND NEVER BREAKING OFF A HANDSHAKE.

SIMPLICITY IS THE SUPREME SOPHISTICATION.

THINGS ARE NOT WHAT THEY SEEM.

MAY I RETREAT INTO MY IMAGINATION NOW PLEASE?

CHAOS IS ORDER YET UNDECIPHERED.

WHATEVER YOU DO, NEVER LOSE YOUR FONDNESS OF WALKING. I WALK MYSELF INTO MY DAILY WELL-BEING, AND I WALK OUT OF ALL ILLNESS. I HAVE WALKED M...

YOU ABSOLUTE LUNCH.

DON'T BE SHY. YOUR MOTHER WASN'T.

IF YOU ACCEPT BULLSHIT AS NORMALITY, YOUR NORMALITY WILL SOON BE BULLSHIT.

BEFORE YOU DIAGNOSE YOURSELF WITH DEPRESSION OR LOW SELF-ESTEEM, FIRST MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE NOT, IN FACT, JUST SURROUNDED BY ASSHOLES.

WOULD YOU RATHER FIGHT 10 DUCK SIZED HORSES OR 1 HORSE SIZED DUCK?

A BORED MIND MAKES A GREAT OFFICE FOR THE DEVIL.

WHEN YOU'RE GOING THROUGH HELL, KEEP GOING.

TO LEARN WHO RULES OVER YOU, SIMPLY FIND OUT WHO YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO CRITICIZE.

WHEN THE MOON IS IN THE 7TH HOUSE AND JUPITER ALIGNS WITH MARS THEN PEACE WILL GUIDE THE PLANETS AND LOVE WILL STEER THE STARS

HAVE A DAY OFF YOU GIN SOAKED MESS.

THERE'S NOTHING MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN TOXOPLASMA. NOTHING.

YOU MAY CALL A CAT A FISH, BUT IT WILL NOT SWIM.

LOOKS LIKE HE COULDN'T FIGHT HIS WAY OUT OF A PAPER BAG.

STICK THAT UP YOUR NORVERN ARSEHOLES YOU MUGGY CUNTS

LIKE A LOT OF PEOPLE IN BUSINESS, I FEAR SHE HAS DELETED HER OWN SOUL.

THE BIRDS (IN NEWCASTLE) ARE ESSENTIALLY CHUBBY RETARDS WITH AN ORANGE HUE.

I FIND BEHEADINGS RUDE.

WE BLESS YOU WITH BEAUTY AND RAGE.

YOU COULD SHIFT 10 STONE AND IT WOULD BE LIKE THROWING DECK CHAIRS OFF THE TITANIC YOU SWEATY OAF.

I CAN SPEAK A BIT OF GERMAN; VOT IS YOUR NAME?

FUCK OFF ALLARDYCE YOU FAT WANKER.

NATURE IS SERIOUS, BUT NEVER SAD.

FELIX MAGATH, I DON'T LIKE HIM. HE TALKS A LOAD OF BOLLOCKS AND HE LOOKS LIKE A TWAT. I DON'T LIKE HIS FACE.

I CAN'T THINK UNLESS I'M LYING DOWN.

AN ARMY OF DONKEYS LEAD BY A LION WILL DEFEAT AN ARMY OF LIONS LEAD BY A DONKEY.

MEET ME IN THE VIC AT 11 TOMORROW. BRING A REPLACEMENT HEAD.

WE FOUGHT AGAINST THE DAY, AND WE WON.

ALL GREAT CHANGES ARE PRECEDED BY CHAOS.

THEY'RE SO DAMN LOUD I CAN HARDLY HEAR YOU. SO I PLAY WITH THEM SOME MORE, AND ALL I WANT IS YOU.

KILL ALL MY DEMONS, AND MY ANGELS MIGHT DIE TOO.

CATS ARE INTENDED TO TEACH US THAT NOT EVERYTHING IN NATURE HAS A PURPOSE.

JORDNÄRA TJEJER KAN DRA ÅT HELVETE.

A TIDY HAIRCUT BRINGS A TIDY MIND.

FUCK ME, WHAT A LOAD OF SHIT.

BE DARING, BE IMPRACTICAL, BE ANYTHING THAT WILL ASSERT INTEGRITY OF PURPOSE AND IMAGINATIVE VISION AGAINST THE PLAY-IT-SAFERS, THE CREATURE...

WORK IS MORE FUN THAN FUN.

HE LOOKED DANGEROUS.

L'ALGÉRIE, LE SEUL PAYS QUI SAUTE UNE SAISON: LE PRINTEMPS.

THE SLOWER WE MOVE, THE FASTER WE DIE.  WE ARE NOT SWANS, WE'RE SHARKS.

A DRINK AND A QUICK DECISION.

HE SINGS HIS SONG AND HE BREAKS MY HEART IN TWO.

I'M THE JUDGE, THE JURY AND THE JAILER.

WHAT'S SO GREAT ABOUT SUNDAY MORNING? SUNDAY MORNING SUCKS.

LOOK AT HIS FACE. HIS FACE SUCKS.

THAT'S NOT BEING NICE.THAT'S JUST PUTTING ON A NICE SWEATER.

THE BLOKE IS A PLANK.

I'M IRISH; I'LL DEAL WITH SOMETHING GOING WRONG FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

DERIVE HAPPINESS IN ONESELF FROM A GOOD DAY'S WORK, FROM ILLUMINATING THE FOG THAT SURROUNDS US.

NO PROBLEM CAN SUSTAIN THE POWER OF THOUGHT.

PERFECT PARANOIA IS PERFECT AWARENESS.

YOU ARE SIMPLY A CLUELESS COCK-SNUFFLER.

I WAS DELIGHTED WHEN IT WAS OVER AND I COULD GET ON TO CLEANING THE CAT'S LITTER BOX.

A PINT OF BOTHERED PLEASE.

THERE'S ONLY ONE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ME AND A MADMAN; I AM NOT MAD.

THE THING ABOUT SOUP IS, IT JUST GOES RIGHT THROUGH YA. THAT'S WHY I LIKE IT, GIVES ME SOMETHING TO DO.

ALL OF MAN'S PROBLEMS COME FROM BEING UNABLE TO SIT IN A QUIET ROOM ON HIS OWN.

SURRENDER, PLAY, OR BECOME AN INSTIGATOR OF REBELLION.

WANT A MORE BEARABLE EXISTANCE? LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS OF OTHERS, WHILE RAISING THEM IN YOURSELF.

ONCE YOU'VE SEEN THE FIRST TEN MINUTES, YOU PRETTY MUCH KNOW YOU'VE BEEN HAD .

IF YOU'RE GOING TO WORK IN A WHOREHOUSE, BE THE BEST WHORE IN THE HOUSE.

*UNZIPS*

PARADES ARE FOR CUNTS. THERE, I SAID IT.

SUCKJOB: $275.

WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH, THE TOUGH TAKES A COFFEE BREAK.

MAN VILL NÄSTAN HOSTA ÅT HENNE :).

YOU GUYS FUCKING SUCK!

JESUS, THESE GUYS DO *NOT* ROCK.

MEN NI VET HUR DET ÄR, DÅLIG STIL MÅR DÅLIGT AV DAGSLJUS.

SO DON'T TRY TO WIN A BATTLE YOU CAN'T WIN YOU SWEATY SLUT.

UNG, FET OCH OLYCKLIG.

THE FIRST DRAFT OF ANYTHING IS SHIT.

HON ÄR EN JÄTTEKORKAD PERSON. JAG HAR GÅTT I FILMSKOLA MED HENNE. HON ÄR FAKTISKT EN KORKAD PERSON. DUM ALLTSÅ.

I WILL DO MY BEST, DESPITE HATING EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU.

YEEEAH, I DON'T WANNA DO THAT.

ANDERS LYCKSELL

IT'S A BIG BOWL OF WRONG.

IT WAS THE MOST TEDIOUS SHIRT YOU'D EVER SEEN.

HE OFFERS NOTHING, DEFENSIVELY OR ATTACKING.  LIKE A DOG CHASING A BALLOON.

I MIGHT GO AND EAT MY OWN FAECES AFTER WATCHING THAT.

IF YOU CAN'T BEAT OR JOIN THEM, FORGET ABOUT THEM.

IT'S A NATIONAL EMBARRASSMENT.

HOW DO YOU PRONOUNCE 'ENVELOPE'? DO YOU SAY 'ENvelope' OR 'ONvelope'? IN MY EXPERIENCE PEOPLE WHO SAY THE LATTER TEN...

NEVER STAND IN THE WAY OF YOUR ENEMY WHEN THEY'RE TRYING TO DESTROY THEMSELVES.

ALL THINGS GOOD SHOULD FLOW INTO THE BOULEVARD.

A TIDY HAIRCUT GIVES A TIDY MIND.

HE DOES THIS BY PULLING AN EXPRESSION SO EARNEST IT BORDERS ON THE INSANE.

THE SUNSHINE BUS WILL BE ROUND TO PICK YOU UP IN 20 MINS.

COCAINE.

YOU READY? I WAS BORN READY.

HE IS SUCH A FUCKING VEST-WEARING FANNY.

WE'RE FUCKING SHIT. PLAYERS HAVE NO BOTTLE, MANAGER NO NOUS. I HOPE THEY ALL DIE.

£4.5M!? BITE THEIR FUCKING ARMS OFF.

I HAVE NOW DISCOVERED SHE HAS COPROLALIA AFTER SHE CALLED MY MUM A 'CUNT-EATING WHORE' OVER THE BREAKFAST TABLE. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

MY NAME IS KRISTINA. I AM 26 YEARS OLD. I'M FROM RUSSIA, CITY CHEBOKSARY .

YOU DREARY COCKMUNCHER.

I JUST WANNA LIE ON THE BEACH AND EAT HOT DOGS. THAT'S ALL I EVER WANTED.

YOU FUCKING QUIM.

TREAT ME LIKE YOUR DOLL.

JOG ON.

YOU'RE A FAT PILE OF SHIT YOU FUCKING USELESS CUNT.

HE WHO CUTS THE WOOD WARMS HIMSELF TWICE.

WORRY ABOUT TOMORROW TOMORROW.

MOYES? NOW THERE'S A GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE HE'S HAD TO SCRAP FOR EVERY MEAL HE'S EVER EATEN.

BUT THE GUY IS STILL A SPERM-GARGLING CUNT.